Way back in June, I promised to tell you what my survey of divorce attorneys and mediators revealed to be the most important traits and skills of a good mediator. Naturally, I got a long list.

Here are some of the items listed: integrity, trustworthiness, knowledgeable, “be prepared”, “be respectful”, compatible, respectful of confidentiality, neutral and even tempered, creative, have good client rapport, leadership, a focused process and “be a behavior controller and an active listener”.

There were others, related to the ability to handle single v. multiple issue disputes, and the ability to “pivot on the fly”. This doesn’t exhaust the list, (remember I asked lawyers for opinions!), but it’s a good start.

I promised to tell you the most important trait. It should come as no surprise – it’s the mediator’s “integrity” that counts most.

As the saying goes: “If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.”

More about the importance of integrity in the next blog.