OK. You’ve made the decision to get a divorce. You look on line for a mediator.
You’ll find a longer list nowadays than you would have a few years ago because now “every divorce lawyer is a mediator”. But be careful! Every divorce lawyer is not a good mediator. Most lawyers have been too long schooled in the battle-in-court mode, not in mediation. You really need to be sure you find someone who is experienced and professional and who has done hundreds of divorce meditations. Look at their websites, call them up and talk to the ones you think might best fit your needs.
When you find one you think is right, then you have to talk to your spouse about the process.
Have you discussed it? Does your spouse know what mediation is and how it works?
You may have to do some explaining.
A good mediator will be glad to talk to your spouse and answer any questions or concerns about the process. If he or she is willing to try it, then half the battle of avoiding an ugly court room scene is over.
Now, are you both willing to be open and truthful about all your financial assets and debts?
For a divorce mediation to really work, both sides need to be honest about this.
If not, then forget about mediation and plan on that ugly court fight.
Can you meet with your spouse and the mediator in the same room to discuss the issues, or are you really not able to do this at all? Often when tensions are high, an experienced mediator will have each party in a separate room and shuttle back and forth between them to get questions and issues resolved.
It can be done, believe me.
Obviously, it’s easier if everyone can sit down together and work it out. But a divorce mediation can be done successfully either way to the satisfaction of both parties.
Think about doing mediation – it can really work for you both.