Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
Just recently I had a husband call who wanted to mediate his divorce rather than have a court fight. His wife agreed and we set up an initial mediation session. A divorce suit had not been filed yet, and the parties were going to file on their own. Unfortunately, the wife told someone of their
Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
Way back in June, I promised to tell you what my survey of divorce attorneys and mediators revealed to be the most important traits and skills of a good mediator. Naturally, I got a long list. Here are some of the items listed: integrity, trustworthiness, knowledgeable, “be prepared”, “be respectful”, compatible, respectful of confidentiality, neutral
Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
As I told you in Part I of this series, (see my May 18,2014 blog), there is more to being a mediator than spending innumerable hours in a classroom learning the basics. Mediating successfully requires a number of personal skills and characteristics that aren’t developed in an academic setting. So, what are the important skills?
Posted on by admin | No Comments
It seems these days that everyone I know wants to be a mediator. That’s fine. Mediation is a more civilized way to resolve disputes, including divorce and elder care family problems, than a knock-down, dragged out court battle. As a West Michigan mediator I’ve had the opportunity to participate in excellent training programs at both
Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
Last Sunday, January 19,2014, the New York Times ran an interesting article in its Sunday Style section on Page 15. The article is titled: “In a Confrontation, a Secret is Revealed.” It’s about a couple whose marriage fell apart after the husband told his wife that he was gay and had been having affairs with
Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
In my last blog I strongly suggested you consider the cost of litigating your divorce. You don’t want to spend your money putting your attorneys’ children through college instead of your own kids. But maybe when you read that blog you thought, Murphy hasn’t got a clue how difficult my spouse can be to talk
Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
Here’s a divorce question for you: Do you want to litigate your divorce or mediate it? Why do I ask, you say. Let’s put it another way, choose A or B: A. Do you want to see your money put the divorce attorneys’ kids through college? B. Do you want to see your money put
Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
Most of us who are trained mediators learned the process of “Principled Negotiation”. It’s the theory behind Roger Fisher and William Ury’s Great work -“Getting To Yes”. It teaches how to negotiate without compromising principles but by examining each parties’ positions and exploring the underlying needs and interests to create options that can help reach
Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
In my last blog, I talked about using emails, etc., to communicate with your ex about parenting scheduling and conflicts. The idea, which came from a November 25, 2012 article in the New York Times (Kramer.com v Kramer.com), was designed to avoid disagreement, (to put it mildly), in front of the children.This may work in
Posted on by Jeff Murphy | No Comments
Late last November, the New York Times ran an article on the front page of its Style Section (nytimes.com 11/25/2012) entitled Kramer.com v Kramer.com. The gist of the piece was that unlike the old days when mothers were just about assured of being awarded primary or sole custody of their children in divorce, there is